i cant help myself.
oh my face is burning.
im dying to scream out loud.
aff.net.
guh.
Burning= copying into cd.
= copycat
= *xxxx*
oh you know who im talkin about. anyways........im so bored. and i think i probably did ok or at least pretty ok for the mcqs today, but shall not elaborate it. americas next top model was already fun for a first episode. seriously ah, those girls are quite bad...i mean, so waht if youre looking out for yourself? a little shake to try wake her up and if the girl wont wake then thats now HER problem. but i mean, if they were all up and about, it wouldn hurt to give tt girl a little wake up shake. like elysse would say, 'Bitches!'.
so moving on, i went fic roaming again today. hahaha. found a few, very nice ones. however most of them were humour or just plain.........oozing with sex...or raging hormones...but some are so well written, it makes the fic twice as sexy........*coughcoughimapeadophile/perv/genkihentaicoughcough*
just a lil snippet of this new fic i started reading....caution...its abit.......hmm....suggestive or i dunno...but i dont care. i like it. i'll bake the author a cake. errr...well i'll just leave u to read or go away from reading this part of the chapter cos it is quite frightening and sick. but I felt like posting it cos well, im too lazy to recommend fics but its nice to read a few good chapters on your blog once in a while.
Cold, dark. You'd think I was used to it by now. But no. I felt awful, just feeble and tired. I didn't know where I was in the first place, only that I knew I was on a bed or mattress of some sort. I tried to open my eyes but it was of no use. My eyes were enveloped in black cloth, and my limbs were bound. Great. So much for being a hero. Being knocked out and captured wasn't anyone's idea of being a hero.
Then I heard the eerie sound of a door creak and I heard slow and soft footsteps coming towards me. I don't know why but I felt myself tremble, my body rebelled against me. Then I felt a strong hand grip onto my shoulder and felt it grip my shirt, slowly pulling it down. I struggled and I heard a low and deep chuckle come from his throat. I clenched my teeth and tried to get away. It was useless. After a few seconds of squirming I felt the hand come into a sharp contact with my face. Blood dribbled from my lip. I felt the strong hand cup my face and I suddenly felt weaker and to my dismay I couldn't gather the strength to protest. He brought our faces closer and sealed the gap in between.
My mind was screaming, shreiking. *What the fuck are you doing? KICK HIS ASS.* But I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. I let him violate my mouth and he slowly wiped away my blood with his tongue and I shuddered. Although I could see nothing I knew he was smiling. I knew he must have had ecstacy plastered all over his face, and for a moment I felt thankful I was blindfolded. His fingers grasped onto me and his lips travelled down to my neck. Without a word, without warning or tease he sank his teeth into my shoulder and instead of feeling disgusted, I felt disgust and I felt electricity jolt right through me. I wanted to slap myself. I wanted to kick myself for allowing it, for enjoying it. I heard a muffled moan escape my lips. Fuck.
Sweat ran down my body as I shed my clothes before him. For those few minutes, time went agonizingly slow and I couldn't control the tears that escaped my cloaked eyes. When in total nakedness, I walked towards him, my knees almost giving way. I felt his calloused hands roam my body, heating my skin and forcing my body to rebel against my will. He then lifted me up and placed me on his lap. He carressed me in all the right places, as though he had studied my body like a map for years. My mind protested over and over again. *no..no! why aren't you doing anything?! idiot! do something!* I started to scream and cry and I tried to pry his hands off me.
He did nothing but tighten his grip and laugh. I could feel my nails dig into his skin, drawing blood, but he seemed not to care.
stop stop stop stop!
I cried out loud this time, and I felt my body being flung off, back onto the bed. I felt his weight on me then, and I couldn't move as he pinned down my wrists forcefully. He growled. "You really don't love them do you?"
I immediately froze. He chuckled. I lost. I couldn't afford to lose them. I let my body go limp and I stopped struggling. I knew they would be safe. Anything. I'd do anything just to know they're going to bed, safe, and that their lives were worth everything. So I surrendered.
He positioned himself above me and I braced myself. He purred wickedly.
"Good boy."
Your eyes are glassy, I know you try to stop your unshed tears, but it's not working. Your tears flow readily now, please don't let me know if it's the sign of defeat. You can't be defeated. You just can't. Please, get up from the ground, please be steady.
I can't take it. I lift your limp body from the ground and rock you like a babe. You look at me with sad eyes, searching. For what? An answer? Why me? I thought I was supposed to look for answers from you. But now you turn to me, I am too flusterred to be flattered.
And for that moment I cried, and I wondered, where did the simple things go? When, and why? Please come back, I begged. And I didn't mean to feel so negative, I just wanted the best right then. And I knew that you were important to everyone else, not just me. It wasn't just about us then, but my selfishness can be great.
Without you it might be the end for everyone else. But I need you, so just hush, we'll go away. Maybe this is the end, but it will be just me and you then.
We'll go somewhere only we know.
was bored...this is part of a chapter of a fic I'm reading...quite sad. any guesses what genre and otp it is? :D
and my period is scaring the beejeezus outta me. its so heavy, like a dam broke or something. shite right? *shudders*..and my kitten is a going to be a firefighter soon.
at first I was worried that I was missing the tide, and I was paranoid and scared that, hey, am I stopping my ovulation?! Why?! Is it true??!!!I want kids you know! And so it came in at high tide today unexpectedly and it feels just awful. infact, even more awful than my physics paper. it wasnt as tough as I had percieved. aiya, that zaldy exxagerated maybe the difficulty of the q's but maybe the marking will be tougher. but still.
and so....my legs are wobbly and I feel paralyzed from waist down.
guys, never ever piss off a girl when she is getting rid of her unfertilized eggs. she is in extreme pain. you will not be happy if you are in pain. so if a girl has her period, dont roll your eyes. YOU GUYS would roll your eyes if YOU had to ovulate! it hurts. Its like an elephant is sitting on your waist and below. oh it hurts. your toes curl and your face twists into a grimace. you scream into the pillow and bend your body in ways you never thought you could in attempts to reduce the pain. it feels so shitty.
and not only that, guys never have to suffer nagging thoughts to go to the toilet and check your skirt if its all bloody. and also, guys dont have to have durians pushed out of where the sun dont shine. well of course it comes out from a gal's you know what, not their arse but you know what i mean. its like shitting out a durian. guys will never feel such things. they wont get scars on their bellies because they do not go for cezarians.
so dont ever ever make fun of pms..oh no........I hope I am sane enough. I know my views are strong but its not just because the excrutiating pain I am feeling now.
honest.
kitten.
anyways, maths pp2 was not as difficult as I thought. i think it was easier than pp1 actually. tml is physics, phuck.
bye bye.
some people are just.......standing....on my toes.....not just stepping but just remaining there.........
and I cant wait to get out of school.
its gonna be 10 soon. i;ll have to get ready for tuition soon!!!!wahhhhh...
anyways, so mmuch for ppl copying each other.....in many and subtle ways everyone including myself have been copied or ripped off.
Hinty Mchint, signing off.
my icon blog! go see!
oohh....my stomach hurts sooo much......
and ONE MORE THING.....
I hate reading some of the junior's blogs. they're like so desperate to have an emo/angst themed skin and every entry they put in is like 'OH LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!'
come on. go home and kill yourself lah.---->this is a quote from Akira! haha.
andd.........oh man ARUNA!!!!!!!WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD did you have to send me those.....*aherm* pics?? Not only did I get them from you, I also found THE website it came from, from a link...I couldnt help it. It's utterly gross and oh it gives me a shiver down my spine.
and you thought only guys were the pervs.
ss wasnt too bad after all. was quite a productive session. physics was kinda boring but well, we entertained ourselves by talking! hahaa. took a polaroid picta with mr shah. hahah. that mama. soo....
came home extremely cranky and pissed. uber pissed. didnt study but will do so after dinner. it somehow is the best time for me to really study. i slept for a while in the afternoon but couldnt because my throat was really hurting and then i had sorta late lunch and then watched rurouni kenshin for an hour.
ahh....aoshi is just so sexy.
and yeah well i guess everyone saw the end of the world, but excuse moi.I am Miss LE Tired. alright.
im not aiming at certain ppl. im just aiming at ALL OF YOU.
anyways.......i feel..sick..not physically but...sick....i love livejoural because I dont need to censor myself. i seriously dont. why should I?? because a blog is a place whre your friends or others can take a peek at. you yourself chose to display your precious and oh-so-interesting life on the web for the world to see. but you see....i use both. blogger and lj. it's fun. hahaha. meet a lot of diff and really funny people. its great.
am i too petty? are my expectations of certain things too high? but why? how come I can't have the high expectations. and when you screw up I just have to shut up and accept that 'not everyone is perfect' shit. and when i screw up its like i really epitomize imperfection and flaw. and then you wont forgive me. will you?
would you walk in my shoes if I surrendered them to you? would you? i'm not even asking if you could handle it. i'm just asking you of your choice. how do you sleep at night? do you toss and turn thinking fuck, I really shouldnt have done that. shit, i really shouldnt have said that. have you? or are you the one who needs everyone else to clean up your mess. or maybe youre just too 'above' such shit and well, maybe you are perfect and you do no wrong and therefore everyone else is wrong instead. are you trying to tell me something? do you have something to say? what? i hate sounding like a jerk but do you sometimes scream inwardly to someone, 'I never asked anyway!'
tell me, did you fall for a shooting star? one without a permanent scar and there you missed me while you were looking for yourself